Tiny Victories

Ugh. Babygirl.

8. told a records clerk that i loved her; set realistic expectations; cried; felt love in places i’ve never felt before, from people i haven’t heard from in years; cried again; debated watching Teen Mom; paced the room; demanded answers; cried more; ate a piece of pizza in the rain; smiled; smelt fresh air; stood on the porch and looked past the trees and gasped; took paper to bank; called organization; thanked god or whomever for my family and friends; appreciated; signed; notarized; sent; manned the fuck up.

7. checked tire pressure; relived my youth; made friends in a situation where i was never any good making friends; danced; werqed it; twerqed it; identified two tracks; avoided judging vibe; showed off tattoo; blushed and blushed.

6. found employment; found employment; found employment; signed a lease in Baltimore; saw some sharks; remembered who most frequently said, “suck my dick, i’m a shark;” took deep breaths; smiled.

-1. spent too much time this evening wishing i were in a neorealist movie.

6. Had inappropriate conversations with old friends; did not judge them; drank at an awful bar on 42nd street without complaining; hid my summer fedora and found it again; laughed and laughed about the name of this bagel store; saw through you.

5. Sent out more applications; hung out with people i was afraid of hanging out with and had a good time; read this beautiful story about some old friends of mine; made it through.

(photo via bruisedteeth, a tumblr crush)

4. slept no more than 4 hours; wrote 1,500 words of a story that’s kind of about an internet video game; spent significantly less time playing said video game; ate good pizza. 

3. Sent out 13 job applications. Cannot remember what more than 3 of them were for. Am optimistic that my phone will ring tomorrow.

2. Walked two miles from friend’s house to go to another friend’s expensive DC rooftop. Watched fireworks; avoided making snarky comments about jingoism; told myself I’d send out a job application tomorrow that gets me a callback.